Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
