at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
