Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
