i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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