I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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