You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
