Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
