You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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