i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
