so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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