I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
