Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
