wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
