I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize