Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
