Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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