he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
