i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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