after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
