I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
