I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
