Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
