You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
