their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
