I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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