Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
