How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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