I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
