Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
