1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
