i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
