I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize