I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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