i barfeds in our rink
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
