don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
