Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
