thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
