I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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