I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
