I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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