strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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