he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
