Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My hand turned me down
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
