they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
