I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
