So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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