im holly from the hills drunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
