Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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