Sponge bath it is.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
