I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
did i just pee glitter
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
