i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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