everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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