Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
