I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
