windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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