Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're making bets on your personal life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
