i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Randomize
