I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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