remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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