I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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