guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
