ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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