I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
