Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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